Dead Man's Road -- Joe R. Lansdale

No, I haven't actually read this story. Joe read it at a session during the World Fantasy Convention, and he says that it will appear in the next issue of Weird Tales, which is supposed to be a special Joe R. Lansdale issue.

What's the story about? It's a weird western about a preacher named Jubal, who without joy serves a vengeful Old Testament God. Jubal, weary from his travels and the recent unpleasantness in Mud Creek, comes upon a broken-down cabin one evening and asks for hospitality. Also sheltering there for the night are a deputy sheriff and his prisoner who are headed for the jail Nacogdoches, where the prisoner has a date with the hangman. The owner of the cabin, Oldtimer, tells them that the shortest way to the town is by Dead Man's Road. It's not the safest way, though, because it's patrolled by an undead former bee-keeper who really doesn't like the living.

Jubal agrees to accompany the deputy and the prisoner because it's his job, although he resents it, to fight evil. And that undead bee-keeper is nothing if not evil. He was evil when he was alive, and death didn't improve him.

The story is weird, wild, vulgar, and hilarious. In other words, a typical Joe R. Lansdale story. Better be on the look-out for the next issue of Weird Tales, since you wouldn't want to miss this one.

"White Mule, Spotted Pig" -- Joe R. Lansdale

Bloodlines: a Horse Racing Anthology is edited by Jason Starr and Maggie Estep. Joe Lansdale doesn't know from horse racing, so naturally he wrote about a mule race.

The story (a novella, actually) opens with the death of Frank's father, who leaves behind a broken-down house and a mule that Frank decides to ride in a big local mule race. Unfortunately for Frank (and the mule), a lightning storm puts an end to that plan. Frank then decides to rent a mule from Old Man Torrence, but that plan ends in disaster as well. So Frank's only remaining option is to catch the legendary and elusive white mule that supposedly lives in the wilderness with a spotted pig, train it (the mule, not the pig), and win the race that way.

I'll leave it to you to find out how things turn out, but I will say that the story is coarse, vulgar, and hilarious, typical Lansdale fare except that it turns out a lot better than many of Joe's stories have been known to do. It's actually sweet and hopeful. That fact alone might turn off some of Lansdale's fans, but that would be a shame. They'd miss out on great exchanges like this one:

"You goat-fucking bastard child, get me out of here."

Leroy's body sagged a little. "I knew that was gonna get around good. Ain't nobody keeps a secret. There was only that one time, too, and them hunters had to come up on me."

Check it out.